“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” is a comical scene from the 1998 movie, Rush Hour, <Link> when Carter (Chris Tucker) picks up Lee (Jackie Chan) at the airport. Many times during our everyday communications that phrase is applicable.
Michael Blanding reports on research that reveals how prone the mind is to wandering and sheds light on ways to stay tuned in to conversations. Researchers shared that just because people seem to be listening when they aren’t doesn’t mean they are being deceptive or malicious.
Our minds naturally wander during conversation; sometimes, we are even thinking about the last thing someone said and end up missing the next thing.”
In those moments where we find we aren’t paying attention, it is appropriate to apologize and ask the speaker to repeat what they said. This action may demonstrate that you do care about the other person enough to understand them correctly.
Source: HBR Working Knowledge, November 6, 2023. Link.
INSIGHTS: Listening requires we get out of our own way and set our personal agendas aside.
Also see: Search results for: listening, AHD archives. Link. Listening is an active process. It is not something you can do while mentally multitasking.