Productive conflict is a hallmark of high-performing teams. Some teams struggle to communicate dissenting opinions without triggering resistance and defensiveness, writes Liane Davey. They fall into unproductive conflict by invalidating one another as they argue.
IF you can validate your teammate’s perspective, expertise, and feelings, you will keep the conflict focused on the issue,avoiding the pitched battle that comes when you intentionally or inadvertently invalidate someone.
Source: HBR Ascend, December 14, 2018. Link. Validating someone you’re having an argument with simply means giving credence to the debate and to the debater. The minute you accept that the conflict is productive and that the person you’re in conflict with is worthy, the nature of the conflict will immediately change for the better.
Rather than negating the other person’s perspective, you accept two things:
1 – It’s valuable to hear different perspectives and to ensure the team is thinking an issue through fully, and
2 – the person you’re arguing with is adding value by presenting a unique point of view.
Also see: The cost of avoiding conflict, Animal Health Digest, June 6, 2016 by Patrick T. Malone. Link. Conflict is easier to manage if you make it impersonal, writes Malone. It is the person’s behavior that is a problem, not the person himself/ herself.
. . . instead of using you or your, replace it with one of the impersonal pronouns such as it, that, this, etc. This way, you and the other person can deal with the specific problem.
INSIGHTS: Proactively establishing a “win/win or no deal” objective to productive conflict can help team members create the right atmosphere and expectations. <