Providing corrective feedback is challenging but it becomes more difficult when it gets emotional. Defensiveness, crying or yelling create an environment that most would rather avoid. However, it is part of the real world. So, tips on handling these types of situations are helpful.
Source: LinkedIn Pulse, September 22, 2016.
Remember the “why.” Focus on all the good reasons you’re giving the feedback. Remind yourself and your employee by saying things like, “I need to share this with you because I want you to be successful here,” or, “I want to see you keep growing.”
INSIGHTS: Unfortunately, the cited responses all contain the word “you” which tends to reinforce the negative emotion rather than diffuse it. I have found replacing “you” with an impersonal pronoun such as, it, that, this and so forth keeps the focus on the problem and not the person. Instead of “I can see you are upset,” try, “I can see this is upsetting.” Or, instead of “I understand this is difficult for you,” simply say, “I understand this is difficult.” Their behavior, performance or habits may be the issue, but the person is never the problem so triangulate the issue and watch for a speedier resolution.