Many of us have struggled with the unwritten rules, the things you don’t ask or say. . . or the topics you dare not breathe a word about. Authors Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy say, “It’s good practice to write down the unstated cultural and emotional norms that exist within your team or company. They might have changed since you all started working from home, or perhaps they’ve never been explicit to everyone.”
Even the simplest reminders can lead people to change their behavior.”
Source: Harvard Business Review, October 26, 2020. Link. Referencing writer Giles Turnbull in the book No Hard Feelings, the authors share the concept of the “Its OK to. . .” permission lists Turnbull hung about his workplace, such as “Its OK to. . .”:
- Say you don’t understand
- Not know everything
- Have quiet days
- Ask why, and why not
- Ask the management to fix it
INSIGHTS: There’s often a lot of power-mongering associated with unwritten rules. I believe some of the negatives of having unwritten rules can be diminished by taking the proactive approach shared by Fosslien and Duffy.
Consider a team project to write down all the unwritten rules. Start with a five-minute exercise during a team meeting, gather the list, share it and then discuss it. Don’t forget to ask, “What else?” Have a laugh or two when someone reminds the group about avoiding that one red coffee cup with the faded letters the boss loves.